Masculinity and Mental Health

Traditional ideas of masculinity might be hurting men's and boy's mental health.

"Man up." "Grow a pair." "Don’t be a wuss." "Boys will be boys."

The masculinity represented by these common thoughts and expressions used in contemporary western culture can be toxic to men’s and boys’ mental health. These platitudes can fuel depression, anxiety, and other kinds of mental illness for the males trying to live up to them, and as parents, we can do something about it.

The connection between these words and male mental health is in the behavioural norms of the masculinity they encourage, and the excuses we all make for these behaviours. These norms include displaying emotional control, being self-reliant, exerting power over women, being a ‘playboy, and having disdain for homosexuals.

In an extensive meta-analysis of 74 published studies, men’s strong commitment to these kinds of masculine norms is associated with mental health problems, particularly those that encourage men to cut themselves off from others (Wong et. All, 2017). Many other studies found strong correlations between masculine norms and unhealthy activities like heavy drinking, bar brawls, and refusing to use condoms.

Male mental health and its connection with masculine norms is so striking, that in 2018 the American Psychological Association (APA) announced its own set of practice guidelines for psychologists working with boys and men. The APA’s position is that traditional masculine ideology is largely responsible for males' psychological development and ends up negatively influencing their mental health.

As a mother of a son, I am looking for the good news. Here it is; masculinities are socio-culturally constructed.

That is, masculinities are a set of ideas that is particular to a time, a place and a social context. And they can be changed. Not all traditional masculinity is toxic – masculine norms such as winning (being admired, respected and competitive) can lead to positive life outcomes in many domains. But when another behavioural norm among males is violence (Mahalik et. Al., 2003), addressing masculine norms can help protect our sons and daughters.

What can we do? How can we craft masculinity into something more helpful and healthy for men, women, boys and girls? Here are a few things we can start with.

• Let our sons cry.

• Allow our sons to develop deep and intimate relationships by teach them to be sensitive, soft, kind, gentle, respectful, accountable, expressive, empathetic, loving and nurturing.

• Show our sons examples of women in positions of power – in the boardroom, in the government and on the sports field.

• Call out children’s shows that have an absence of female characters and uphold examples of traditional masculinity.

• Be aware of our own roles and biases. Who does your son see doing the housework? Who does your son see fixing the car? What sort of jokes do you tell at family BBQs? Who mows the lawns?

• Avoid excusing bad behaviour due to gender. Telling our daughters “he just hit you because he likes you” or rolling our eyes and mumbling “boys!” at rough play signals that masculine violence is ok.

• Encourage our sons to ask for help. The masculine norm of self-reliance is positive in many ways, until it prevents a boy or man from reaching out for emotional support when they need it.

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Mahalik, J. R., Locke, B. D., Ludlow, L. H., Diemer, M. A., Scott, R. P. J., Gottfried, M., & Freitas, G. (2003). Development of the Conformity to Masculine Norms Inventory. Psychology of Men & Masculinity, 4(1), 3-25. doi:10.1037/1524-9220.4.1.3

Wong, Y. J., Ho, M.-H. R., Wang, S.-Y., & Miller, I. S. K. (2017). Meta-analyses of the relationship between conformity to masculine norms and mental health-related outcomes. Journal of Counseling Psychology, 64(1), 80-93. doi:10.1037/cou0000176